*UK EXCLUSIVE* [Movie Review] SAW V
Do you need to read this review? What can I do to make this review worth reading in order to justify the time spent writing it? I could jazz up the opening paragraphs a little and end on a cliff-hanger before the “jump” so you have to click into the review to see whether I came to surprisingly like this movie or to see just how bad it actually is! I could, but I would genuinely feel as if I am insulting the intelligence of you, the Stale Popcorn reader. I think the only legitimate and honest thing for me to do is to do away with tangent and excessive verbal posturing, just state my opinion and get the hell out of here. Quick for you to read and quick for me to write! Think of this less as a review and more of a drunken, loud “Watch Out!” screamed in your general direction!
So let me just say what needs to be said up front and centre: This film is an utter abomination. A genuine car-crash of a movie without a single redeemable quality. I told the people hosting the screening this very opinion and they kind of “encouraged” me to wait until the Monday after its UK release before I started wailing on this flick but if I did that I would not leave you, dear reader, with enough time to spread the word on just how atrocious this is so we can start trying to kill the profit margins on this franchise once and for all. So I’ll run the risk of a “telling off” in favour of doing the right thing by you! How’s that?
Saw V isn’t just a bad movie in terms of script and performance, it is also a bad movie in that it is ineptly made too. I concluded my review of the really rather shit Saw IV with the statement that “we are now at the point where getting the best horrific gore sequences on film is more important then having them held within any coherent context of a film. And that’s extremely worrying.” Well, worry not, because those behind this franchise have burnt us out. Saw V doesn’t even have gore sequences that horrify us anymore. And seeing as that was the only element it could drag an audience in under, there’s really no point in showing up to see it is there? This franchise has desensitised us to the point that it has nothing to offer us any more! It’s just a boring, sad, embarrassing little runt of a film without a single meritable quality!
The very fact that there is now a US reality TV show based around finding a “scream queen” to star in Saw VI shows this franchise up to be the embarrassing turd that it is. And the fact that there’s already a sixth movie in post production and a seventh at the script stage just makes me want to scream and put my foot through a cinema screen. Avoid, avoid, avoid! I’d call this out as one of the worst films ever made if it wasn’t for the fact that such a label gives the film a certain level of curiosity value and intrigue that I don’t want even this film to be afforded!
And that’s Gazz out! No “jump”. No “continuation” of my opinion. Nothing more to say!
NO POPCORNS
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8 Responses to “*UK EXCLUSIVE* [Movie Review] SAW V”
Wow, a zero popcorner? It’s THAT bad?
I wasn’t gonna see it anyway, but damn!
Well, it’s not the first film I’ve hit with that rating but yeah Kris, this is just so… so… pointless and inept and…
… at the press screening I went to, always without fail, the people hosting it always hang around to hand out press kits to late arrivals or to answer any questions you have and what not. Here, they literally skulked out fifteen minutes in.
They didn’t even do that with THE LOVE GURU!
It’ll be very hard to find a film worse then this, this year!
you would think the guys who wrote Feast would at least try to inject something more into the SAW franchise.
HA!
The guys that wrote the first FEAST movie wrote this? I did not pick up on this! Shame on them!
My FEAST II review drops 9am UK time tomorrow!
They also wrote SAW IV and I believe are also doing VI.
So FEAST was a flash in the pan then. Oh dear God! After this atrocity, the mere mention of SAW VI just induces pile up my throat!
One of the writers is suppose to be directing an original horror movie soon. So who knows.
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