[Movie Review] SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE
I did it! I friggin’ did it. I encountered Sex And The City: The Movie in a forced, workplace situation, for free and I survived. This is a movie that no amount of money, indoctrination or forced torture could have got my bum into a cinema chair to actually watch on the big screen. But… at work, under the conditions I was under, I thought I’d give it a passing time of day, whilst it was projected, occasionally looking up from my Paul Fieg book (that guy is ‘da bomb’! Are we still using that expression by the way?) in order to gain some understanding of what the “female equivilent of Indy 4″ is actually like.
Yes, let’s deal with the obvious statement straight away - No, I am indeed not the “target audience” for this flick for, despite the man-boobs that suggest otherwise, I am not female nor, despite the questionable taste in music, am I gay. But that being said, why can’t a critic judge a movie for what it is and how it works as a movie, instead of having to shy away because he can’t pronounce the name of a certain designer pair of shoes or know the name of all the four lead female characters?
Sex And The City, as a movie, looks great. I ain’t shitting you on that and I’m not just talking about the women. I love New York on film and I’m aiming desperately to achieve my lifelong dream of going there this very year, and there’s no getting around the fact that John Thomas (Director of Photography) has done a fantastic job in creating a visual love letter to the city. Whilst we’re on this particular vibe, let’s carry on with - believe it or not - what actually worked for this movie ‘as a movie’.
Kristen Davies is a hugely under-rated actress and, of the four, she was always the one that the men fancied but who the critics gave the short end of the stick to. She shines brightly in this movie. If the law of Hollywood applies to this movie, then big box office receipts should mean the cast get bigger and better opportunities. I hope casting agents bypass Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall (more on them later!) and start putting Davies out there, front and centre. She does excellent work in this movie with very little.
The same goes for Chris Noth. The guy is clearly a very talented actor and he is worth much more then this material and a lifetime of being referred to as “Mr Big”. Like Davies, he subtley and quietly does a lot with very little and there’s the key to the film’s problem right there…
There’s a lot seemingly going on but at it’s heart, actually very little exists. It’s an empty, shallow piece of confectionary punching well above its weight. It’s a movie that essentially is about a woman considering marriage, and her three friends and their various stories. As a light-weight, throwaway romantic comedy of the 90-odd minute variety this could have worked out slightly above average. But this is a two and a half hour movie. Yes, two and a half fucking hours with nary enough wit and energy to hold it all together!
Sarah Jessica Parker never once convinced me she was playing a person called Carrie Bradshaw. She just came across as someone channelling facial expressions, verbal mannerisms etc. of a caricature that “fans” were aching to see. I’ve never really understood the show in it’s original HBO incarnation because it always just came across as this empty “four sluts fuck around” sort of thing and, in the movie version, spread out over two and a half hours (yes, two and a half fucking hours!!!), you start to realise that there’s not a single in-depth character between the four leads. They all literally just channel stereotypes and whilst someone like Davies does wonders with such slight opportunities, the likes of Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall (especially) just don’t have the talented to express anything other then “the whiney one” or “the nymphomaniac one”.
Watching this just made me realise the absolute abyss of difference that exists between men and women; women bleed for a week every month and do not die, men bleed from a cut finger for ten minutes and start writing their wills. Women can give birth to new life, men can give birth to post-curry stillborn alien lifespawn that they immediately disown. Finally, men can come out of something as anticipated as Indian Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and recognise the flaws and the rushed mentality of it all, as painful as it is to do so. Women can come out of something as anticipated as this movie and have the following ACTUAL conversation with me:
ME: What do you think?
WOMAN: I loved it!
ME: What did you love about it?
WOMAN: Everything!
ME: Everything?
WOMAN: Yes, everything! The clothes, the shoes and…
ME: What about the actual film though? You’re judging the film on what the characters wore but not how the film actually is. Don’t you think it was a bit light and below par for such an epic running time?
WOMAN: Yeah, but they all looked so beautiful and Kim Catrall looked stunning for her age.
ME: So things such as a shoddy, throwaway script and run of the mill direction didn’t bother you at all?
WOMAN: No, you don’t go to see this for anything other then the outfits and the sex and to see Mr Big and…
… And there you have it. Box office receipts for this movie exist as they do because it is actually possible that this movie is NOT to be judged as a movie, but for how the characters dress and what shoes they walk through Times Square or whatever in.
The mind does indeed boggle.
For me though, I’ve got to call it for what it is… Kristen Davies and Chris Noth earn this film a much needed one ‘popcorn’ and I’m going to slap another half a one down for the photography of New York in this flick. But, as a film, it’s a very poorly executed piece of self indulgence. Did any self-respecting fan of cinema truly expect any different though?
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5 Responses to “[Movie Review] SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE”
This movie was terrible. Utterly terrible. It has some brief, BRIEF witty moments, but overall it’s garbage.
This movie is two and a half hours! I have to keep repeating that because it boggles my mind.
It is longer then Taxi Driver! It is longer then Jaws! It is longer then Rocky!
Man!
Anyway, you’re the target audience for this flick Kris and if you hated this then that’s good enough for me! Lol
SEE? This movie drives people insane!
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