[Movie Review] I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW
NB: I mocked up the cover for this review myself! I thought it was in keeping with the general tone of the flick we’re here to discuss! In fact, all involved should most definitely use this as the DVD cover art!
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“… The country of Japan went to bat for me …”
I got sent a copy of Sean Donnelly’s has-got-to-be-seen-to-be-believed documentary, I Think We’re Alone Now, by a friend out in Oz with a note saying “You Have Got To See This! Review It! Spread The Word!” Unfortunately the quality was mixed throughout and I didn’t get a good handle on it. I was intrigued enough though to see if I could seek out a ‘proper’ copy and ended up coming across it FOR FREE (till Saturday) on the FantasticFest website, which you can access here!
Let’s make this perfectly clear from the start: This is an utter car-crash of a viewing experience. I’m talking the subject matter, not the quality of the documentary! This is the sort of flick that you hear about and think “What the fuck would I want to watch a movie about that for?” but then one hour and ten minutes later, you’re sat with your mouth agape, your palms sweaty and you’re just in a state of disturbed awe that people like that are roaming the streets!
Sean Donnelly has taken a subject matter that the term ‘kitsch’ doesn’t even cover and turned in a must-see documentary that very much has the potential to utterly change your perception of the whole ‘celebrity stalker’ issue! He’s done it in a manner that is often lost in documentary-filmmaking these days: he’s turned his camera on and, for the most part he’s filmed the subject. He’s not trying to be the “star” (a la Michael Moore). He’s not (well at least for the first fifty minutes, it seems) trying to bend the factual into a fictional narrative (allegedly a la American Teen). He’s letting the subjects and their subject matter be up, front and centre. And I Think We’re Alone Now is sensational but utterly, utterly uncomfortable viewing as a result!
To paraphrase from the official synopsis of I Think We’re Alone Now, many people are familiar with American pop singer Tiffany, who had a couple of hit songs during the 1980s, including “I Think We’re Alone Now” and “Could’ve Been.” Those MOST familiar with her ‘talents’ are two of Tiffany’s most devoted stalkers: Jeffery Deane Turner, a 50ish man with severe Asperger’s Syndrome, and hermaphrodite-in-transition Kelly McCormick.
Turner has been engaged in a pointless, multi-decade pursuit of Tiffany’s attentions, including an infamous incident when he showed up at a Court House, where Tiffany was taking part in a hearing, with a samurai sword and five white chrysanthemums (leading Turner to make the quote that headed this very review).
McCormick is also completely obsessed, which is evidenced by the dozens of Tiffany images that paper the walls of his/her barren apartment, along with the disturbing, profane monologues and drunken rants about being united with the pop singer. McCormick’s obsession, as shown in the documentary, exists in an entirely different space than Turner’s and seems to be rooted in a big tangled knot of psychological and physiological dysfunction that is nothing if not concerning.
I’ve often always scanned over these celebrity-stalker cases that seem to litter the newspapers every couple of months, and I’ve never tended to have much sympathy for the celebrities involved. So a guy writes you a few too many letters, or stands outside of your house etc. Whatever! You’ve got enough money to hire someone to open your mail. You’ve got yourself a big ass security team. Your house has a high fence. What the fuck are you bitching about? You’re on $20 million a movie/record deal/etc!
But after seeing this documentary my attitude has completely changed. You really do get a handle on what the celebrities must be exposed to by literally watching it evolve at the stalker’s end of the correspondence. And it is NOT pretty. More so, it’s all well and good when you’re a big shot in the celebrity community and can afford to hire someone to open your mail or get yourself a big ass security team or a house with a high fence. But what about when you’re a couple-of-hit-wonder from the 80s, meeking out a living on the convention circuit and crappy gigs on tiny stages in the back end of Vegas and the like? What then?
Tiffany makes fleeting (almost back-ground) appearances throughout the documentary, and major kudos must be extended to her because she treats the likes of Turner and McCormick with the utmost dignity even though she must be literally dying inside at whether this is the moment one of them is going to plunge a knife into her chest as she poses with them for a photograph or as they lean over the table to request a kiss. The documentary falls short by not getting Tiffany on camera for a direct interview about the effect such stalking has on her or what her opinion is on the likes of Turner, who has lost ’stalker-cases’ bought about by Tiffany, but STILL continues to pursue her.
The power of I Think We’re Alone Now is that we’re in the eye of the storm, so to speak. We’re at ground zero on pure, unrestrained insanity. It is such an uncomfortable and disconcerting position to be in as a documentary viewer, that you slowly start to consider that these people, Turner and McCormick - for all their protestations of only wanting Tiffany for marriage/friendship/etc - are capable of real harm if pushed. You slowly start to wonder whether we’re about to watch them attack whilst Donnelly’s camera rolls on!
At the forty-odd minute mark Donnelly does something that we cannot help but believe he had a controlling hand in for the sake of the documentary, loosening our opinion a little on just how natural and unforced it has all been so far; he puts Turner and McCormick in touch with each other (first via a very stilted, overly weird telephone conversation and then on a trip to Vegas to see Tiffany in concert). And believe me when I tell you that if you were uncomfortable before, then this ‘finale’ of sorts will dial the level of uncomfortableness up to 1000! A sample quote from Turner about McCormick?
“… With a hermaphrodite you can take your pick …”
A scene of Turner and McCormick (ESPECIALLY McCormick!), shot in night-vision, behaving more than a little OTT at a Tiffany concert in Vegas is scarier then anything you will see this year, and yes that does include the night-vision shot finale of this year’s horror sensation [REC].
I Think We’re Alone Now could have done, desperately, with getting Tiffany’s thoughts on camera. It is also slight at seventy minutes but I’m not entirely sure, after two viewings, whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. The documentary feels rushed but, at the same time, I think Donnelly (as director) is more than aware that too much time in the company of Turner and McCormick is not a good nor healthy thing.
Regardless though, this documentary remains something that you have to see for yourself. Many can quote from it or paraphrase some of the things said or done by Turner or McCormick, but they’ll never truly register until you’ve seen them for yourself. Hunt this out! It is WELL worth a look!
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2 Responses to “[Movie Review] I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW”
Sounds……disturbing!
But I think I might check it out tonight (that sites bandwidth is going to get a beating!
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I seemed to have a bit of trouble watching this film in high-bandwith, but medium level worked well.
It is testament to this flick that when I originally saw it it was on the world’s worst hand-me down pirate, passed from pillar to post with people DESPERATE to spread the word. It was almost completely shadowed and all you got was clear audio.
The audio was enough to make me DESPERATE to see this. It’s the best sort of doc - the type where you think “This CANNOT be for ****ing real! It has to be exaggerated. It has to be a put on!”
It’s not! Unfortunately for Tiffany! What I love, on top of the fact that FantasticFest are being superb in how they are putting content out FOR FREE to people like ourselves who are in a different country and can’t attend, is how this particular film has taken on this level of word-of-mouth with illicit copies being bandied about like they’re treasure maps.
The god’s honest last time I encountered anything like that was just prior to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT breaking in the UK and people were pushing VHS tapes on their mates and saying “You have got to see this!” (I didn’t like that film, as you know!)
Here, it’s a case of about 3 weeks ago I couldn’t come online without my MSN Messenger bleeping into life and people messaging me with variation of “Have you heard about this doc?” “Dude, I have a doc and a half for you to see!” or “I have just seen the most amazing car crash doc, I have to get you a copy!”
I just REALLY hope this takes off the way it deserves to!
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