[Movie Review] HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE
I happen to be a very big fan of Simon Pegg, as some of you already know. If he’s in a movie, I’m gonna see it. I loved Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz turned out to be one of my all-time favorite comedies. I can watch that movie all day. I stumbled across the entire series of Spaced that some intrepid fan had uploaded onto Youtube a few years ago, and I officially crowned Simon Pegg a deity. But then I laid eyes on Run Fatboy Run, a movie that disappointed the holy hell outta me and made me question whether it was Pegg or his frequent collaborators Nick Frost and Edgar Wright that I really needed to be worshipping. Pegg just didn’t seem as funny without the two of them, at least to me. How To Lose Friends And Alienate People was Pegg’s second chance to prove that he can hack it without the other two musketeers at his side. Did he pull it off?
Nope. Yet again, he has displayed that he does not fire on all cylinders without Frost and Wright. This movie…man, I wanted to like it soo badly. I’m telling you, I was looking for a laugh here, there, anywhere, but the laughs were few and far in between. This movie isn’t completely terrible, but I know that Pegg is capable of so much more, which makes the sheer pedestrian nature of this film even more painful than it already is. The flick is based on the true story of Toby Young, a British writer who raised all kinds of hell while working for Vanity Fair Magazine. Here, names have been changed to protect the obnoxious, as Pegg’s character is named Sidney Young. Sid’s pretty anti-establishment, which is a perfect set-up for a clash when he goes to work at the straight-laced Sharps Magazine in NYC, headed by Sid’s hero Clayton Harding (Jeff Bridges). He encounters plenty of stereotypical characters, from Alison, the gal in the office who can’t stand him (Kirsten Dunst), to an evil publicist (Gillian Anderson) and a ditzy starlet named Sophie (Megan Fox).
Similarly to Run Fatboy Run, the problem with this movie is that it is completely and utterly predictable. I’m telling you, there are absolutely no surprises, nothing new or remotely original about this film. They follow the well-trod path of every movie that came before it, most closely The Devil Wears Prada, a flick that is surprisingly good. Unfortunately, there is no Meryl Streep in this film, and the predictable nature of the film takes away a lot of potential for some fun. It’s difficult to truly invest in a film and its characters if you are calling the plot points half an hour before they appear. Do you think that Sidney will have to sell out his principles to get ahead? Will the ditzy starlet take him under her wing and offer him some sexy time? Will the office gal who hates him eventually fall desperately in love with him? Will Sidney reject the shallow life of the rich and famous and make a last-minute run to the airport to be with his true love? Hmmm….. The whole thing was just stupid and filled with people that I didn’t give a crap about. Why should I root for Sidney? The film never gives you any reason to like or identify with the guy. He’s basically an obnoxious tool throughout the thing, so attempting to humanize him with an out-of-nowhere Daddy Issue reeks of lazy screenwriting. If that is the guy’s true story, fine, but that was a plot point that served no purpose. It’s a minor chunk of screentime, but it’s unnecessary screen time. The whole thing felt like a deleted scene rather than an integral part of the story. Even worse was the relationship between Sidney and Alison. She hates him so much in the beginning, really for no good reason, so her eventual love for him just…I’ve seen plenty of movies where the couple starts out hating each other, but their eventual love story is played in a way that makes it buyable (Han/Leia ahoy!). Here, it’s just suddenly thrown in my face, and I almost laughed at how stupid this film thought that I am. It’s like Alison wakes up one day and decides to be in love with the guy. Made no damn sense.
Now look, most films these days are predictable as hell, but like I always say, if the destination is already set, you need to have a damn fun journey. The journey isn’t fun, and the travelers have nothing interesting to add. Gillian Anderson plays a frigid bitch. That’s it. There’s no subtlety to her performance whatsoever. She’s evil, the end. Dunst is her usual snaggletoothed self, trying to convince a man and the audience that she’s charming and adorable, but failing miserably. Folks need to stop casting this woman in romantic lead roles, because she either comes across as a needy stalker (Elizabethtown) or flighty and unappealing as she does here. I don’t know what it is exactly that she lacks, but she’s missing something that would make me buy into the fact that a man would throw away a multi-million dollar job, fame, fortune, and a chance to bang Megan Fox to be with her. I just didn’t buy it. Speaking of Megan, she’s horrendous in this. I’m making it official, as if it wasn’t already after Transformers: this girl cannot act her way out a wet tissue box. She is just awful. I know she is supposed to be playing ditzy and whatnot, but she’s too ditzy to even play ditzy, if you follow me. She is a terrible, terrible actress, and she has no career ahead of her. Also, is it just me or is she starting to look more and more like a blow-up doll? Jeff Bridges actually acquits himself nicely here. He doesn’t have enough screentime to save this movie, but if I was laughing, chances are, he was onscreen. He’s not cracking jokes, but looks of disgust that he pulls throughout this movie are consistently funny.
And then, we have Peggy. I’m going to post my thoughts on his performance in Run Fatboy Run, because that pretty much sums up what I think of him here: “I can’t believe that Pegg would want to show his face in such a pedestrian flick. The paycheck that they handed him must have been gigantic, because he is better than this. He coasted right through this film, and I was honestly a little pissed at him for doing so. Granted, this isn’t an Edgar Wright film, but for God’s sake, he is better than this! I mentioned already that Pegg does his trademark slacker schtick here, but the big difference is that he was neither funny nor charming. Shaun from Shaun and Tim from Spaced were both losers, but Pegg had a glint in his eye and a quick wit that brought me to his side. There was no life in his eyes here. There were times where he looked confused, and so was I. There was not one moment in this film that sticks out in my mind as truly laugh out loud funny. Hot Fuzz has more laughs in fifteen seconds than this film has in its entirety, and that is NOT an exaggeration. I’ve never seen Pegg slum it up, and it was painful to watch. I am being dead serious when I say that I didn’t know that Pegg had it in him. It’s like believing in the Tooth Fairy as a kid, and then turning on the lights to find my damn mom in her PJs slipping a ten under my pillow. Oh, the horror…”
The movie has a few chuckles here and there, but overall it isn’t worth your time. In a way, I’m glad that this movie tanked so hard here in the States. I’ve been singing Peggy’s praises for years to my friends, and I would have been so embarrassed if I had taken someone to see this movie after telling them how awesome Pegg is. I don’t want anyone to see this and think that this is all that Simon is capable of. The Prodigal Geek needs to run his ass back home to Frost and Wright, ASAP. I’m not putting up with this crap anymore!
4 Responses to “[Movie Review] HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE”
“youre a doctor..DEAL WITH IT!”
xD
and you brought up megan fox which is good because i dont think shes the hottest women in america…i think gwengwen paltrow should have won…and then she should win again next year, and the year after. theres attractive actresses sure and then theres paltrow who shadows the rest.
what do people see in fox? i see chicks like her everyday at the mall. but paltrow is angelical (marry me?)
Megan Fox was much more attractive before she starred in Transformers. Go on Youtube and look up her audition tape for Transformers. Look at her face then and look at her now. Now, her eyebrows are huge, she wears too much makeup, the tattoos are horrid, and it appears that she’s gotten a nose job, since the slight bump on the bridge of her nose that is visible in the audition video is now missing. Her lips are also much plumper now than they were a few years ago. She’s ruined herself.
Yeah, I saw a picture of her from 2004, it’s amazing what 4 years can do.
I mean I’m balder than I was 4 years ago, but that’s all nature…the bitch.
I shudder to think of what she’ll look like in Transformers 3, assuming Mikaela survives TF 2. Yeesh, she looks so plastic now, and it’s a shame, because the girl was naturally stunning without the spray-on tan and tramp stamps. I just wish that she didn’t feel the need to conform to this “bad girl” image that she projects 24/7. It feels false to me.
I stumbled across that audition video on Youtube by a fluke and was honestly stunned at how gorgeous she was, with barely any makeup on and her hair done simply. That is when she was truly beautiful. You can do so much more with so much less. Now, she’s a total mess. I was shocked when I looked up her bio and found that this girl is a year YOUNGER than I am. She looks at least five years older than I am, for Pete’s sake. I just wish she’d tone it down a little bit and learn how to speak in public. Every time she opens her mouth, I cringe because she sounds so incredibly ignorant. She’s trying so hard to be some kind of sex kitten, but sexy isn’t about shoving your sex appeal in people’s faces and demanding their attention.
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