Movie Review: HALLOWEEN (2007) – The Work Print
With (minor) critical acclaim leaning more in favour of the ‘leaked’ work print of Rob Zombie’s remake of the John Carpenter classic, Halloween, over the eventual Dimension-pushed theatrical release, rumours are circulating the movie industry that the ‘leak’ was a deliberate one by Zombie himself or someone closely affiliated to him so that his “original” vision could be seen.
Seeing as the theatrical print of Halloween (2007) is yet to open here in the UK and therefore not having had seen it, I cannot comment on which is the superior version. But having experienced Zombie’s fabled work print and having over fourteen years of utter adoration for Carpenter’s original that has seen me constantly and consistently opposed to the very notion of a “remake”, what’s most surprising about Rob Zombie’s Halloween is that it is not the out-and-out cinematic atrocity that some, AICN for example, are making it out to be.
It’s damn near close let me tell you, but it’s a few very slither-thin shades shy of an outright stale turkey! Think of it as offensive, iredeemable gumf with plus points so absolutely minor they aren’t even worth mentioning… A horror movie for the sort of people who pull on a door handle when the sign right next to it says “Push” and who think ‘Beef Wellington’ is something that the cows wear on their hooves in the wet season! A film so bad that it’s actually one of those types that transcends it’s awfulness and becomes relatively good.
Back in Issue # 2 of Off The Shelf – The John Carpenter Collection, I spoke extremely highly of Halloween circa 1978:
“… This is one of the greatest horror movies ever made – a true genre defining slice of cinema! Carpenter plays with typical horror conventions with abandonment here, whether it’s showing his killer in broad daylight, having the nerd instead of the popular girl become the heroine or introduce new and unexpected means of murder to shock and delight his audience. What you don’t realise on first viewing is just how timed and effectively precise Carpenter has marked the whole running time. Unlike something recent like, say, Neil Marshall’s The Descent (which puts us through an hour and a bit of characterisation and false scares before getting down to the meat of the movie, but boy what meat it is!), Carpenter hands out the minimal amount of screen time needed to get us invested then starts up the slaughter and rather amazingly does not let up. To this day, still containing some of the best scares in the horror genre, Halloween is an undisputed masterpiece from its defining stedicam opening through to its ‘Oh Fuck He’s Disappeared’ ending!”
When Rob Zombie first started talking up this project he seemed very deliberate in emphasising that his was to be a self-reliant, original vision of the Michael Myers mythos. Not a sequel or a prequel but a complete “re-imagining” that, William Shatner mask aside, held no connection with the John Carpenter original, the under-rated sequel or any of the other abominable franchise entries! Somewhere between pre-production and filming his own script, Zombie went back on his word because he’s delivered a film that cribs the timeless musical score, the best scares and, bizarrely enough, the driving factor of the 1981 sequel.
Admittedly, it’s all sandwiched into a forty minute mini-movie with none of the finesse or craftsmanship that John Carpenter achieved but it’s still a huge let down to know that Zombie’s idea of a “self-reliant, original vision of the Michael Myers mythos” is to dig into ‘what makes a monster’ in the most crass, cliched and leaden of ways for fifty odd minutes before throwing things forward with a nigh-on scene-by-scene retread of Carpenter’s classic condensed into a thirty to forty minute window!
The first fifty minutes is Rob Zombie’s “interpretation” of what made Michael Myers into the mythical killing machine that he was. However, this interpretation tends to be nothing more than the stealing of random psychological cliches from various textbooks and crossing them out as he goes; redneck, violent and unstable upbringing? Check! Bullied at school? Check! Misunderstood? Check! A tendency towards cruelty against animals? Check! Sexual insecurity and incestuous leanings? Check! And for fifty minutes Zombie runs us through each and every one of them and they are just as offensively presented as you would expect. Hell, even the moments designed not to offend (i.e. a montage conflicting Michael pre-first human kill against his stripper mum doing her poledancing set to the tune of “Love Hurts”) achieve that objective regardless!
If Zombie had made this film as a standalone, with a fresh “killer” and not working under the iconic stature of Michael Myers and John Carpenter’s tremendous theme music, then this film may have got itself an ever so generous pass. However, seeing as it’s not a standalone movie about a new ‘slash-and-stalk’ character, but a retread of a genuine horror classic and a defining genre character then it needs to be discussed as such:
The dialogue is silly, clunky and deliberately cruel to the ear. The acting (Sheri Moon Zombie specifically) is far from acceptable with Malcolm McDowell being a crushing disappointment in the role of Loomis, made famous by the wonderful Donald Pleasance in the original, and not helped by that god-awful script. Only cult icons Dee Wallace Stone and Brad Dourif really manage to maintain any real dignity throughout proceedings, maybe because both are only involved fleetingly.
The film presents moments of outright stupidity (Myers stands in the middle of the road, in daylight, whilst the girls scream insults at him before he walks away – none of the girls think this is worth reporting to their parents or being suitably freaked out by the sight of a nigh on seven foot man in a mask and overalls!) and utter distaste (rape is NOT something to be used as a form of entertainment and it’s no wonder said scene was forced from the eventual final cut by Dimension). Worst of all, the decision to side step the build-up/execution of tension and atmosphere in favour of just outright gore is the film’s worst failing, although the clunky finale is a close second (that I hear the final theatrical release hasn’t really improved on).
Zombie learnt nothing from that god-awful Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel that tried to explain away the mysterious, iconic and psychotic nature of Leatherface by proposing “horrific upbringing + forced redundancy at work = chainsaw weilding killer”. Zombie steps up to the plate and says “disgusting, unloving redneck upbringing + victim of bullying + family’s refusal to partake in the Halloween act of trick or treating = looney tune killing machine”! Audiences don’t want to have all that thrown at them. Carpenter proved that by showing us that there was nothing more to Michael Myers then a young boy who picked up a knife one day and couldn’t quench the thirst to murder ever since. So for Zombie to spend an hour trying to deconstruct someone who shouldn’t be deconstructed, and to do it in such a hamfisted crass manner, is just asking for trouble from his audience.
When the film stops trying to look “inside” the mind of Michael Myers and get down to the stalk-and-slash elements of what’s expected of this film, you can kind of find yourself begrudgingly taken a long on a bit of a ride, as a guilty slice of pure escapist fodder.
Zombie introduces us to our victims an hour in with no degree of care or attention so we do not care for his Laurie Strode anywhere close to as much as we did with Jamie Lee Curtis’ version of the character! His entire third act is an amalgamation of Carpenter’s entire original. So much for a self-reliant, original vision huh? Hell, the stalk-and-slash elements that do come to work are soon easily recognised as almost carbon-copies of scenes from the 1978 masterpiece (e.g. Laurie trying to get back from one house to the other with Myers slowly stalking behind her)!
To make a judgement based on this particular work print, this is an ever-so-slight cut above the later franchise entries but a travesty in comparison to the original and it’s relatively worthy sequel.
This has cleaned up at the box office, somewhat mysteriously, so sequels and a fresh Michael Myers franchise under Dimension’s gaze seems a somewhat tragic inevitability. Although if I do jump down off my adoring-of-the-1978-version (it’s rated as 15th in my 100 Favourite Films of all time!) high-horse, I can admit that seeing as it plays so closely to the best bits of Carpenter’s original this could prove substantial weekend horror movie viewing at the cinema to the ‘easily-pleased’ crowd.
The worrying thing is if this is the ‘better’ version between this and the theatrical cut then I honestly don’t think I can bring myself to lose two hours on the final edit.
Wyv and I are currently looking into the possibility and practicality of a StalePopcorn star-rating system so I’ll indulge him with such a thing:
* * 1/2 (if you’re a movie fan!)
*** 1/2 (if you’re an idiot who has to have velcro-fastening shoes because you can’t be trusted with laces!)
Do you want to see Rob Zombie’s work print of Halloween in the comfort of your own home, in near-perfect DVD quality? Just click right here to go to Movie2U. I did it and it worked wonders for me! 
5 Responses to “Movie Review: HALLOWEEN (2007) – The Work Print”
See? I knew I didn’t want to read this review! Balls.
Halloween is a great movie – this sounds like shite, it has to be said. And if this is truly the better version of the two then I think I will pass on either.
Myers was scary because there was no real reason given for what he did. He just was! To try and tie it up in bad upbringing/no trick or treating just makes it ridiculous. Mr Zombie…I think it’s time you went back to making music and left the movie making to others.
I saw the trailer to this the other night on TV with my wife, who is a big fan of horror movies. Her instant reaction? “That looks really shit.” See, your first reaction/impression is so often correct!
Good review, though mate.
My girlfriend too is a huge horror movie buff and within fifteen minutes she said “This is boring!” and the minute the (now deleted) rape sequence came on, she just said “This is sick. I’m out!” and left to go to bed!
The film works as a horror movie if you’ve a) never seen John Carpenter’s original, b) never seen a horror movie full stop and c) are the sort of twisted **** who makes soup with the cheese under your foreskin!
What was Zombie thinking? I really warmed to the guy after watching the making of The Devil’s Rejects, which is a DVD I own. That film is glorious in that it’s exploitation cinema at its finest. In fact, Zombie’s efforts so far run circles around Tarantino’s Death Proof as entertaining trash. But that exploitative, gimmicky, trashy aesthetic that serves Rejects so well cannot and should never have been allowed to work on a remake of Halloween. This is possibly the dumbest move a director could ever make. Carpenter is one of the best directors of all time, and the way in which he constructs his films is second to none. Zombie is enthusiastic but fatally flawed as a director, none more so than when he made the decision to tackle something that is as genuinely classic and definitive as Halloween. Yeah, if it was an original character, the lame pop-psychology and check list of things that turn kids bad would be tolerable but this is just depressing.
Fair play to you Gazz for watching this. I don’t think I could manage it!
Remaking Carpenter isn’t necessarily sacrilege and this comes from 1. Carpenter’s biggest fan and 2. The same dude that watched every Carpenter movie in a 30 hour period for Filmrot remember? But it DOES have to be done right and done with respect as Carpenter himself proved with THE THING and then disproved with VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED.
I mean, that remake of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 was actually a ****in cracking film!
THE FOG though? Erk! This film? Yuk! Len Wiseman doing ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK? No, No, No!
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