[DVD Review (R2)] MADE OF HONOUR
There’s something so likeable about Made of Honour that I can’t quite work it out myself. I can’t believe I’m going to sit down and write favourable things about this nonsense, to be quite honest. I mean it’s a thoroughly watchable piece of trash that shouldn’t work for a multitude of reasons, but “work” (in the sense that it ‘entertains’ as it needs to) it indeed does. This is in the face of the fact that it is so formulaic it hurts AND it is centred around the worst case of “stacked odds” imaginable: Its lead is not just ineffectually performed by Patrick Dempsey - a performer so wooden that when he trips and falls people around him shout “Timber!” - but the character he is playing is such an outright, unlikeable tosser that you just can’t help but wish for him not to succeed in his quest for love. And for a dispensable romantic comedy to still tick all the boxes and entertain against such odds, that’s quite the commendable quality.
Made of Honour follows a thoroughly unlikeable, obnoxious, almost misogynist bastard who has the woman of his dreams under his nose but never bothers to connect with her because he’s happy fucking everything else that moves. Then she meets someone else and the whole “one wants what one can’t have” notion occurs within him so he decides to break up her wedding and keep her for himself.
This is the one film I’m urging to see a sequel to, if only for the reason that if we were to REALISTICALLY follow these characters passed the point of this movie’s ending then we’d see both characters in the divorce courts before they’d finished cutting up the wedding cake, on the grounds that he’d be fucking anything that moves behind her back. Oops, have I just spoiled a film that can’t possibly be spoiled due to its obsession to following the conventional romantic comedy formula? … Sorry!
Plot? Well, the minute I start describing the film I’ll like it even less and my “liking” of it is built on weak foundations already. Sigh, here we go: Tom (Patrick Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) have been friends ever since college. Through the years, Tom gets his physical “hit” from a barrage of girls who abide by his complex system of rules that stop them from getting too close to him or expecting a relationship. Hannah heads off to Scotland on business and returns with a fiance (Kevin McKidd) at the exact moment that her best friend realises he has feelings for her! Tom is asked to be the “maid of honour” at her ceremony and his friends convince him its a good idea as he’s got a better chance of breaking up the wedding from the inside and revealing his love for her.
If only because it makes things easier for me AND the fact that my template is so water-tight that it almost allows the film to review itself, I’m going to hark back to the little questionnaire I designed for my Catch & Release review. Follow me through it:
1. Do the Boy and Girl meet under contrived plot occurrences that force said characters to instantly hate each other for thoroughly unrealistic reasons?
A flashback to 1998. Bill Clinton masks. Climbing into the wrong beds. An instant hatred that clearly is not written to last… Does this smell “contrived” to you?
2. Does such plot occurrences develop in a thoroughly immature and underdeveloped fashion to put said Boy and said Girl in almost constant contact with each other so ‘differences’ of opinion, lifestyle etc. can rub off on one another?
Oh no, these two are the “best of friends”. He knows that she is the one for him (the movie tries, and fails, to sell us on the notion that he doesn’t) but is in denial about it because he likes “pussy” too much. She knows that she likes him but he won’t settle down so she pretends to be happy with “just friends”. They’re in each others lives day-in-day out. If there’s ANYTHING at all original about this film, it’s that they don’t fall on the first-they-hate-each-other-then-they-love-each-other convention. It’s not much of an original angle, but believe me, in a film this “safe” we’ll take what we can get!
3. Does the Boy and Girl have respective best friends, standing off in the background, making comedic asides about this thoroughly ridiculous situation between the two of them?
Yup, his “posse” are led by Kardeem Hardison or whatever his name is. You know, that crippingly unfunny black guy from Vampire In Brooklyn? Hers are led by Busy Phillips who actually turns in some decent work here, garners a few slight smirks and puts on some sexy lingerie too!
4. Does the film cast some forgotten character actor from a decade ago, who used to be quite well acclaimed early in his career, in some “mentor” role for either Boy or Girl character?
Yup - the late great Sydney Pollack in, unfortunately, his last role. He’s quite possibly (Monaghan aside) the best thing about this movie.
5. Do the Boy and Girl invariably fall in love with one another but deny it for the longest possible time because a movie studio’s lack of respect for a cinema going audience does not extend to charging them full ticket price for what would only amount to a ten minute fucking movie?
Are you kidding? The entire film is based in, and around, the mere notion that our lead characters are in love with one another but are denying it for the longest possible time.
6. Is there an absolutely contrived, clunky plot complication that arises at the exact moment that said Boy and Girl are about to connect that will force them apart?
Yes, there most certainly is and it is firmly contrived and thoroughly unoriginal. How many times have we seen the boy letting someone he shouldn’t into his room and they start seducing him against his will at the exact moment that the girl comes in, catches him and storms off! Is the picture beginning to paint itself for you now? This movie is about as far from original as you could get.
7. Will either Boy or Girl decide they have to leave whatever location the whole movie’s events are occurring within, whether it be by plane, train, boat or automobile?
Boy gets kicked out of Scotland… Did I not mention the film moves itself over to Scotland for the second half of the movie? No? Don’t worry, all the scenes there are a bunch of stupid cliches that anyone who has been to Scotland, or is from Scotland, will cringe at. So, it’s not important. Anyway, Boy gets kicked out of the wedding party and out of Scotland but…
8. Does whichever character NOT leaving find out that the other is going/gone and make an obligatory mad dash to whatever location they are leaving from, in order to stop them?
… We have the “stop the wedding” race. This one involving a horse. Yes, a horse! A mad dash, on a horse, to stop a wedding. At least Three Men & A Little Lady had a motorcycle and sidecar. And Tom Selleck. And Steve Guttenburg. And, if memory serves me correctly, some mad vicar too! To say that Made of Honour is lacking is an understatement.
9. Does the “chaser” catch up with the “chased” and make a grand verbal declaration of love that has been written by a spotty faced script doctor who has never met a woman let alone been intimate with one, but who dreams of saying exactly this sort of ‘shit’ to a female of the species (who isn’t inflatable) one day?
Oooooh yes! Like you wouldn’t believe!
10. Do we end on whatever ridiculous plot contrivance that occurred to cause this whole inconceivable miscommunication being INSTANTLY forgotten so that long, lingering kisses can be dispensed with as the camera pulls out and some inane pop, romance ballad plays out over the end credits?
Yup! Yup! Yup! And Yup! BUT the song played over the end credits is ‘Stolen’ by Dashboard Confidential, which is a song I love, so I can’t help but go a little light on the film in this particular area!
So you can see from the Q+A right there that is a distinctly unoriginal piece of nonsense, driven by a thoroughly unlikeable performer (Dempsey) playing a thoroughly unlikeable character. The script is utter nonsense, the Scottish stuff is utter tosh of the highest order and there’s every reason in the world why this should be an utter disaster.
BUT Michelle Monaghan is such a lovely, warm, natural and witty performer who more than compensates for Dempsey. Then there’s Kevin McKidd who does a great job with a crappy, conventional role. And the aforementioned (always excellent) Sidney Pollack. There is SOME good work on show here and it’s the fluffiest of fluff you’ll ever probably see this year.
We all know that this is a ‘one popcorn’ affair if ever there was one. It’s as distinctly unoriginal as you could possibly imagine but I’ve decided to award a ‘popcorn’ for all the likeably qualities in the face of such a thoroughly unlikeable lead performance by Dempsey, and… well… Monaghan/McKidd/Pollack get one, the use of the Dashboard Confidential song gets one and, what can I say, the running gag about the grannie wearing the sex-aid around her neck as a piece of jewellery gets another simply because it made me smile and think of the fact that my own gran would probably get found doing the same thing!
Sigh… I’m falling on my own sword here, I know but:
Related Posts:
- Behold the WORST trailer ever made!!
- [DVD Review (R2)] CATCH & RELEASE
- [Movie Review] WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
- [DVD Review (R2)] 27 DRESSES
- [Movie Review] ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO
11 Responses to “[DVD Review (R2)] MADE OF HONOUR”
Ugh.
Yup couldn’t agree more Gazz. It’s formulaic, by the numbers Rom-com but it is actually quite enjoyable for all of that.
And it was nice to see Kevin McKidd able to talk in his native tongue for once instead of having to put on an American accent!
Only thing I would say, I was going to give it Three pop-corns too…..but one of those was for the Blu-Ray transfer which looks gorgeous - especially when they go to Scotland.
Seriously though, considering it has Patrick Dempsey in it and it is thoroughly “safe” and unoriginal AND it has that horrible barrage of Scottish cliches and stereotypes, this isn’t that offensive to be honest. It’s way, way, way down the chain of “quality” with KNOCKED UP being at the top and CATCH & RELEASE being in the middle, with 27 DRESSES / WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS at the bottom. But it’s not quite on par with the barrel scrapers!
thanks for spoiling the ending! Though i guess i knew what would happen anyway. Looking forward to seeing it when my hubby is nowhere to be seen! However i love Patrick Dempsey so won’t have anything bad said against him >:|
1. If by reading this review you feel as if the movie has been spoilt then you have never seen a movie before. Ever. Not a single one!
2. If you don’t like bad things being said about Patrick Dempsey, you’re in the wrong place!
Ha Ha
Dempsey is overrated in every sense of the word. Not good-looking, has a nose like an eagle’s beak, can’t act, and Orlando Bloom has much better hair. Dude sucks.
I thoroughly agree with you Kris, but I wouldn’t dare get caught saying that to my sister - she’d kick your ass! LOL
It actually bugs me that Joanne (my sis) can show such excellent taste in being obsessed with shows like THE SHIELD but then undo it with being equally obsessed with nonsense like GREY’S ANATOMY, whilst being utterly opposed to giving superb shows like SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH a try!
You need to try waterboarding your sister. That would teach her.
“waterboarding” ?
That better not be something ****in’ filthy Kris! SHE’S MY SISTER!
And I’m no mug - I’m more ‘wise’ to these euphenisms ever since Wyv lured me into a session of “teabagging” with him!
The little devious bastard!
LOL
Waterboarding is a form of torture used on terrorists by the US at Guantanamo Bay. You blindfold a person and put them in a tub or something filled with water, then you dump water up their nose to simulate drowning. It sounds fairly tame, but I saw a video when a reporter decided to be waterboarded to demonstrate what it feels like, and it was TERRIFYING shit.
Seriously, when you’ve been coerced into teabagging, waterboarding sounds like a tickling session in comparison
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