[DVD Review (R2)] BALLS OF FURY

On any other day of the week, this film could and probably should have ended up in the Stale Popcorn Hall of Fame marked “No Popcorns” but… well… not that I’m making any excuses or anything but… Let me explain, or at least try to:

We’ve had a spate of bad weather here in the UK lately and I’m working an entire month of night shifts presently but a week or so ago, I found myself with the day off work, the sun shining rather nicely and the prospect of my girlfriend coming up from London for the weekend. I took myself out for a beer at my local, sat out in the sun, smoked some cigarettes, chilled out texting the missus and then headed home to find a review copy of this on my doorstep.

My mood was good and I didn’t want to taint it with a “comedy” from the guy who was in this piece of shit. But the alternative was a review copy of Rob Zombie’s Halloween and I’d already hit that once and once again and really didn’t want to go once more. So I threw Balls of Fury in the DVD player and, I’m almost embarrassed to say, I had a bit of a laugh with this.

I’m a sucker, it has to be said, because even the mere notion of Enter The Dragon retold with Ping Pong instead of karate and with a fat guy instead of Bruce Lee, makes me sort of smile I have to say. Balls of Fury is written by Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, who as a screenwriting team have given us - shudder! - Night at the Museum (and it’s upcoming sequel Escape From The Smithsonian), The Pacificer, Taxi, Herbie Fully Loaded and Let’s Go To Prison. However, they’re also writers and stars of Reno 911! Miami which I accidentally fell in love with last year so we can forgive them a few (but not all!) of their screenwriting travesties!

Balls of Fury is stupid, childish, inane stuff with a lead performance from Dan Foegler that shows the full range of his talents - mildly amusing, channeling Chris Farley but getting Chris Tucker and downright irritating. It should be a big pile of steaming dog turdage but it steps up to the plate, shows itself to be in possession of Christopher Walken, Maggie Q and James Wong and then settles in to be exactly what it is, no more no less… pure escapist comedic fun with a wildly uneven hit-and-miss ratio in terms of gags!

In the unsanctioned world of ‘Extreme Ping-Pong’, the competition is brutal and the stakes are deadly. Down-and-out former professional Ping-Pong “wild-child” Randy Daytona (Foegler) is sucked into this underground competition when FBI Agent Rodriguez (George Lopez) recruits him for a secret mission. Randy is determined to bounce back and recapture his former glory, and to smoke out his father’s (Robert Patrick) killer - one of the FBI’s Most Wanted, arch-fiend Feng (Christopher Walken). But, after two decades out of the game, Randy can’t turn his life around and avenge his father’s murder without a team of his own. He calls upon the spiritual guidance of blind Ping-Pong sage and restaurateur Wong (James Wong), and the training expertise of Master Wong’s wildly sexy niece Maggie (Maggie Q), both of whom also have a dark history with Feng.

All roads lead to Feng’s mysterious jungle compound and the most unique Ping-Pong tournaments ever staged. There, Randy faces such formidable players as his long-ago Olympics opponent, the still-vicious Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon). Can Randy keep his eye on the ball? Will he achieve the redemption he craves while wielding a paddle? Is his backhand strong enough to triumph over rampant wickedness?

The answer to all of the above is, of course, yes because Balls of Fury struggles to bring the laughs let alone a sense of originality. The thing is I know in my heart of hearts that this flick is a piece of shit but, for the sake of fairness, I have to base this review off of my viewing experience and, as I said, thanks to a bit too much sun, a few beers and the excitement of seeing my girlfriend, I kinda enjoyed this flick and it certainly provided me with a good few laugh out loud moments.

I’m embarrassed to say all of that, of course, because I know there’s readers out there who think my ability to differientiate between good and bad films has been getting well and truly fucked up for some time now, and me giving this the review I’m giving it only serves to confirm such thoughts. But the thing is it’s a throwaway comedy with Christopher Walken doing his version of “Fu Manchu” and Maggie Q looking as insanely hot as hell.

I laughed. I enjoyed it. I got a little restless when I realised that it was playing a little overlong towards the end. I’ve got to call it for what it is:

Posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 8:00 pm under DVD Reviews (R2) by Gazz.
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