[BLU-RAY Review] ROLLERBALL (2002)
There are some films that are, in a way, almost perfect for a remake. As much as the original Rollerball is an absolutely classic movie, I can appreciate how some of the themes and ideas in the movie could benefit from a modern make-over. I can even see them being able to make a decent movie out of the property, as long as they employed a decent writer(s) and director and cast the right actors in the roles, especially the lead role of Johnathan E (or whatever they called James Caan’s character in the new version).
So why did the John McTiernan (the guy who directed Die Hard for crying out loud) directed 2002 version, which was adapted by Larry Ferguson (Highlander, The Hunt For Red October and …uh….Alien 3) and John Pogue (US Marshalls and ….uh…… The Skulls and ………uh……. Ghost Ship) from the 1975 screenplay, which was originally written by William Harrison which was in turn based upon a short story by Harrison, by Larry Ferguson (Highlander, The Hunt For Red October and …uh….Alien 3) and John Pogue (US Marshalls and ….uh…… The Skulls and ………uh……. Ghost Ship) piss so many people off when it was released? Surely it can’t be that bad? Can it? Well, here’s the perfect time to find out as I give the Blu-Ray release a spin in my PS3.
OK, lets get the “plot” out of the way first, shall we? Jonathan Cross (Chris Klein) is an extreme sports fan and NHL-hopeful. After breaking the law in by taking part in an illegal street race he decides to take up his friend Marcus Ridley (LL Cool J) offer to join the Zhambel Horsemen Rollerball team in the ex-Soviet Republic. Rollerball is an extremely violent sport involving roller-bladers and motorbikes and Ridley and Cross, as two of the stars of the sport, are extremely well paid and treated by their boss and promoter Alexi Petrovich (Jean Reno). While initially enjoying the attention and fame that comes from the sport it’s not long before Cross and Ridley realise just how far Petrovich is willing to go to make money from the sport, and more blood and violence means better ratings, and the Horsemen find themselves in a final in which the prizes are their lives.
Damn, I just re-read that and realised that I made it sound good! Well, just to clarify….it isn’t. I honestly don’t know what went wrong, as all the elements are there to make a pretty exciting and thought provoking movie (like the original) but for some reason they just don’t come together to make a good movie (unlike the original).
Seriously, what the hell happened? The editing of the movie manages to rip apart what little story and characterisation there is and make it turn into a pretty incomprehensible mess. There are leaps in the plot that see characters changing direction, some times in pretty important ways, without making any sense what so ever. There are moments that might actually have been quite important and central to the plot that are left hanging without any sense of tieing into the rest of the story. There are characters that we should care about but we don’t get any reason to, or any chance to as character moments are few and far between.
And then there’s the action scenes. McTiernan directed Die Hard. Predator. The Hunt For Red October. It’s not like he is a stanger to directing thrilling or exciting scenes. And, to be fair, he does make a far stab at it. But the most exciting moment of the movie, which is the ending, is hacked to pieces in a mad MTV-style editing process that makes it so hard to truly follow the action that we’re left scratching our heads in bewilderment.
That’s not to say that McTiernan’s directing is the entire problem. It doesn’t help that LL Cool J seems to be at a total loss as to what he’s doing in the movie and is completely aware that the movie he is appearing in is total crap - in fact according to the IMDB he appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien and admitted that the movie sucked but was under contractual obligation to promote it! Now that’s an extra they should have included in this release! It doesn’t help that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos gives one of the poorest performances of her career as Jonathan’s love interest. It doesn’t help that Jean Reno seems totally bored by the whole thing and can’t actually be bothered to act. And it really doesn’t help that they cast Chris Klein in the lead role of Jonathan Cross. Why? Because he not only looks about 15 he also has the emotional range of a plank of very thick wood and is as exciting to watch as said plank of wood. As it leans against a wall. In the rain.
Now, this is the Blu Ray release so I suppose you could say “at least it looks good” and you’d be right. The transfer this movie has gotten does look very pretty to begin with. Unfortunatley this only highlights the movies failings in other areas but the details that are present in all of the Blu Ray’s I have watched so far just aren’t here in this one, and as a whole it leaves a lot to be desired. And as for the Dolby TrueHD 5.1 soundtrack the best thing that can be said about it is that it’s loud! There are none of the subtleties that you are used to with this kind of track and as a result it’s a big disappointment.
Special Features
Commentary with LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Chris Klein: This is entertaining in parts, as the three stars seem to get along well and have a lot of fun during the recording of it but there are a lot of silent moments and not very much information.
Stunts Featurette: (20 min) A collection of behind the scenes footage of the stunts of the movie, with everyone involved hyping up their parts. Pretty forgetable really.
Rob Zombie Music Video:
BD Live: Apparently this disc has BD-Live but I just couldn’t get it working.
Overall, this is a pretty disappointing release. The movie is a disappointment. The extras are a disappointment. And so is the HD transfer. Honestly, if you want to watch a decent movie called Rollerball then go and get your hands on the James Caan original and by-pass this seriously misguided and under-average movie.
11 Responses to “[BLU-RAY Review] ROLLERBALL (2002)”
Ha Ha. You’ve let yourself down fella, how can you review this atrocity and NOT pay mention to the bizarre moment when McTiernan directs an integral part of the movie in night-vision for no reason other then, as he said during the publicity for it, “to see what it looked like”.
This is an AWFUL movie. How come your strongest reviews are of the worst movies? Ha Ha!
PS
“under-average”
I honestly don’t know why but that made me giggle quite a bit mate!
ahahahahahaaaaa Rollerball
To be honest with you Gazz, the reason reviews of movies that you don’t enjoy are generally “stronger” than ones of movies that you like are that there’s only so many ways to say that something or someone in a movie is good where as there are many many many ways to say that something in a movie is bad!
And yeah, I did neglect to mention that Nightvision sequence - mainly because I was trying desperately to forget about it! If you think it was bad in SD then you should see it in HD! *shudder*
Oh, and it’s taken me a while Wyv, but I think you meant “below-average”. But I have to admit “under-average” just makes me laugh. Beautifully played sir!
And yes I THOROUGHLY agree with you. There is much more fun to be had in destroying a bad film with the power of the written word then there is in poem-ing it up for a good movie!
“Under-average” or “below average” - comes to the same thing!
Perhaps! Just never ever heard the expression “under-average” in that context.
I liked it. It made me giggle!
The mind boggles as to what context you have heard “under-average” in!
I was TRYING to be polite dude. I haven’t heard it in any context or used before. That’s what amused me!
I wasn’t trying to rub the malpropism in your face though!
JEEZ!
Lol!!
Then why bother mentioning it?
Hyper-sensitive much?
Jesus Christ man!
You wrote it. I highlighted it. I didn’t steal your car or take a dump in your fridge!
Bit of perspective please!
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