Stale Popcorn » Vin Diesel Will Shout “I Am Relevant!”: World Will Whipser “NO!”

Vin Diesel Will Shout “I Am Relevant!”: World Will Whipser “NO!”

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There was a moment in my sad adolescence where I found Vin Weasel to be a pretty cool guy.  Was it the voice, the chrome dome, or the slightly vacant yet oh-so-menacing stare that did me in?  I don’t quite know, but I remember leaving school early one day with a bunch of friends to see XXX in theaters.  We all had fun with it, despite how utterly stupid it was.  My, what a difference six years can make.  I’m on the verge of graduating college and he’s on the verge of being booted out of Hollywood completely.  The guy needs a hit, badly.  So, what’s a talentless guy like Weasel to do?  Why, do a sequel to one of your popular films, of course!

Variety is reporting that the guys behind the upcoming Terminator 4 are in talks to whip up a script to (pretentious title in 3..2..) XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage.  I’m a little curious to see how he makes said return since his character was KILLED OFF in the second film. Not only are we told that Xander is dead in XXX2 (yes, I watched it, yes it sucks, don’t judge me!), but on the DVD, there’s a scene where we see how Xander dies.  True, the scene featured a body double of Weasel and not the man himself, but the character is dead.  How the hell are they gonna explain this one?  “Whoops, it was all a dream!”  There’s stretching logic and then there’s insulting my intelligence, and this is surely the latter.

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