Stale Popcorn

“… We were in a building for the first, an airport for the second, a city for the third and putting the whole country at risk for the fourth. I’m all for a fifth movie but where do we go next? The moon?”

- Bruce Willis: Die Hard 4.0 publicity junket.

Be careful Mr Willis. It looks like bloated egotistical fuckwit Steven Seagal is taking your soundbites for his own plot synopsises. Speaking to MTV.com, Segal discussed the direction HE would like to see a much-touted Under Siege 3:

“I personally want it to be something more modern. In other words, I wouldn’t mind if it was about something more mystical or…maybe extraterrestrial in nature. Some real government top secrets instead of just the typical.”

The almost likeable Under Siege (a film whose only merits are its director, Andrew Davies and the pantomime performance of lead villain Tommy Lee Jones) gave way to a ridiculous unenthralling sequel, sub-headed Dark Territory. Now Seagal is itching for his Navy SEAL turned chef to kick alien ass?

I haven’t watched a Seagal movie (that one was Hard To Kill) since I was hospitalised aged 12 for six months. I haven’t felt like I was missing out and don’t intend to change that, not even – especially not even – because of this announcement! Then again, Seagal has been talking up Under Siege 3 for ten years now (“It’s set in a prison/It’s set in Iraq/It’s set on a cruise ship/It’s set in a badger colony!”), normally with the same quote “There are offers and we’re looking at them.”

Colour me thoroughly uninterested and not at all confident that this will come to anything. But it is stupidly amusing. And it has given me a valid reason to reuse the description “bloated egotistical fuckwit” so every silver cloud and all that bullshit!

Posted on Friday, October 3rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm under Movie News by Gazz.
Tags:Movie News

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