JJ Abrams To Bring About An EARTHQUAKE?
Aint It Cool News are reporting, via The Hollywood Reporter (which I’m not sure whether we’re still on an embargo from linking to!), that JJ Abrhams is looking to David Seltzer (he who scribed one of my old childhood favourites Lucas, the very much under-rated Punchline, the rather sublime guilty pleasure that is Bird on a Wire, and both the 1976 and 2006 versions of The Omen) to script an “earthquake movie” for him to make with Universal, who last made an “earthquake movie” in 1974 to mediocre effect. It is said that this new incarnation will NOT be a remake.
I don’t know whether I believe this. Either way do you not think that Abrams is just at the point now where he’s in meetings with all these execs and he’s just pulling a Keyser Soze on their asses, looking around the room and just making shit up on the spot before concluding with “And I am the man who masterminded Lost and Alias and Cloverfield, so when can I have your cheque?”. It’s probable he was in a meeting that wasn’t going very well just last week when the earthquake happened and this happened:
EXEC: Yeah… Erm… Mission: Impossible IV with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Oprah? That doesn’t sound like it’s for us…
* BANG, SMASH, CRASH, AND ALL OTHER SOUND EFFECTS TO SYMBOLISE AN EARTHQUAKE *
EXEC: Oooh, thank god that is over. Sorry. What was I saying?
JJ ABRAMS: Erm.. I want to make a movie about an earthquake!
EXEC: Really?
JJ ABRAMS: And… er… I am the man who masterminded Lost and Alias and Cloverfield, so… when can I have your cheque?
EXEC: Give me 5 minutes!
This is an actual transcript of what happened! Honest! Well… possibly. Get ready for lot’s of silly nonsensical web teasers four years from the film’s release and then the eventual film to be revealed as Cloverfield 2: The Monster Farted And Caused An Earthquake.
Colour me sceptical!
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