Is G.I. JOE The Worst Film In Paramount History?!
Well, if this rumor spreading quickly online is true, then yup, G.I. Joe is pretty damn bad. A person on producer Don Murphy’s message board by the name of EndTimes has posted a report on the status of G.I. Joe, and believe me when I tell you that it ain’t pretty. Look, let’s be honest with each other, shall we? We all knew from the trailer alone that this movie was going to be a complete and utter turd (and knowing is half the battle), but I never thought that it could be as bad as this Endtimes gal or guy makes it out to be. If Endtimes is to be believed, not only has the film’s godawful director, Stephen Sommers, been fired from the film and banished from the editing room, but also the film received the worst test score in the entire history of Paramount Pictures. Lemme say that again. G.I. Joe received the LOWEST TEST SCORE IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF PARAMOUNT PICTURES, A STUDIO THAT HAS BEEN IN EXISTENCE SINCE 1912. Holy mother of God!
Here’s the entire cringe-inducing report from the mythical EndTimes:
So the story goes like this-
after a test screening wherein the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie Brad Weston had Stephen Sommers, the super hack director of the film fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.
Stuart Baird, a renowned “fixer” editor was brought it to try to see if it could be made releasable. Meanwhile producer Lorenzo whose turkey IMAGINE THAT explodes this weekend as the new bomb in theatres (also championed by Weston) was told his services were no longer needed on the film either.
Sommers was then forced by his William Morris agents to pretend that he was working on Tarzan over at Warner Brothers doing design work, even though that film doesn’t even have a good script yet. When word of the firing started to be whispered about in Hollywood, Sommers was summoned back to the editing room- but only to save appearances, Baird is still editing the movie with studio input.
Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, who turned down other offers from the property to go with the script that was rushed in 8 weeks by Stuart Beattie because of the writer’s strike is frantic that this will destroy the brand and is distancing himself from the pending catastophe.
NONE of this needed to happen, except someone who did not know the mythology, Lorenzo was in charge of the film and never contradicted Sommers on anything. Lorenzo, so you know, was Chairman of Warners and had GI JOE under option there (not as a producer) for SEVEN years and he refused to greenlight the film, stating that because he gre up in Italy he had no knowledge of it. If you google enough, at one point you will see he wanted the film to be about an action hero named MANN (Action Man, get it) and he clearly had no clue what the GI Joe world really was.
And the hapless hack Sommers? Where did he come from? The confused Jon Fogelman at William Morris, who signed Hasbro away from CAA, had to find a director in a hurry for his new clients and gave him the only guy who he repped who would do it. A sad end to what COULD have been a great franchise. Acceleration suits indeed.
Now, in defense of this upcoming bomb, Latino Review managed to get one of its producers, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, on the phone, and in his interview, he claims that everything is hunky-dory, but what the heck is he supposed to say? “Yup, the rumors are true. This movie is a mess!” Come on. EndTimes might be full of crap, but Hollywood is all about spin, spin, spin. They won’t confirm anything in order to save face and possibly to protect Sommers’ career, but do any of you truly believe that G.I Joe has a shot at being anything but a trainwreck?
Related Posts:
- Holy Moley, G.I. JOE Looks Like Garbage!
- G.I. JOE Gets Posterfied!
- G.I JOE: THE INVASION OF COBRA ISLAND
- G.I. JOE Delta Suit Put Through It’s Paces (Exclusive)
- Paramount Studios Gives THE SOLOIST And DEFIANCE The Heave-Ho!
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15 Responses to “Is G.I. JOE The Worst Film In Paramount History?!”
I fricken believe this movie will be the worst movie of the year, and this news doesn’t surprise me at all
I’m sure it’s not going to be a good movie, but that EndTimes post just comes off as suspect.
They should just sell the movie based on Sienna Miller’s ass.
Im sorry.
Its G.I. Joe.
Youll have to kill me, or worse, kill GP<3 in order to keep me busy from going to see this. I grew up watching this shit, ive waited too long for this ****ing movie for it to suck this bad, i refuse to believe it blows
(This comment does not in any way shape or form encourage the murder of Gwyneth Kate Paltrow to anyone, the "Jamie will ****ing kill your whole family and drink your blood if you kill Gwynnie" law still stands and will always be active)
dang you know her middle name and everything. lol the “Law” thing
Nothing Hazzy says in relation to The Paltrow shocks me anymore. Lord have mercy.
Gwynnie’s a Nazi.
Holy crap that will piss Hazmat off
Grundy
She is NOT a Nazi!
I know this because i chose wrote a paper on her on my junior year of high school and she has nothing to do with the Nazi army! Shes too busy being perfect to do that stuff.
Kristina
Oh Im sure thats not true, and thank you for referring to Gwyneth as The, and for capitalizing her majestic name
Aaron
Shes the most underrated person to ever set foot on Earth. Everyone should know her middle name.
….
….
I wonder if she goes on this website…
‘_’
GI Joe the movie is awesome. it focuses mainly on nanotechnology. this movie should have been made a couple of years ago.
I used to watch GI Joe animated series wayback in my childhood days. the movie version of GI Joe is definitely the best.
I love GI Joe the movie. my favorite GI Joe character is Scarlet and the Baroness. I love the GI Joe cartoon version ever since i was a little kid.
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Cobra commander and Duke are two of my favorite GI Joe characters. the movie is great and i am waiting for a sequel of gi joe perhaps maybe next year or so.
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